Just Another Sunset/ Somewhere Over the Rainbow

It was day 5 in Hawaii. We had been doing all of the things you’d expect, beach bumming and whatnot. Who knew that a vacation was going to have so many emotional ups and downs? I definitely didn’t. When my friend, who has no idea I’m gay, told me as an afterthought that we’d also be going to a double gay wedding I was definitely surprised. I was also very excited. The wedding was for two men and two women. I was only a friend of a friend but I’d met the two guys once before on a previous vacation. Keep in mind that it wasn’t even a real wedding as it’s still unfortunately not legal. Anyway, the wedding was on Wednesday so instead of doing the bachelor/bachelorette parties the couples just chartered a catamaran for a sunset cruise. It was as awesome as you’d imagine. An open bar, dinner, music blasting, sailing around with great people (including tons of awesome gay couples, bonus!). Towards the end of the cruise everyone had settled down to watch the sunset. I was sitting at the bow snapping pictures and sipping a mai tai. One of the grooms was sitting with us. As the sun was just about to set a friend of his turned to him and said, “Enjoy it, it’s your last sunset as a bachelor.” The groom, who has been in a committed relationship for almost eighteen years now looked back and replied, “I’ve seen it before, it’s just another sunset.” I was overcome with a sudden pang of sadness. I knew that this conversation should have happened ten or fifteen years ago. This whole wedding should have been ten or fifteen years ago. It was sad that even after the two of them had loved only each other for almost two decades the best they could do was have a ceremony with no legality. These two people had already shared so many sunsets together and you could hear it in the grooms voice. He hadn’t seen the sunset as a bachelor for almost eighteen years. He watched the sun go down without any sadness, but I couldn’t quite say the same for myself. 

The sun came back up the next day though, just like it always does. It was the wedding day. We all got dressed up in our semi-casual garb and headed over to the church. It was a gorgeous venue. There were twenty or thirty of us on a small lawn between the church and the beach. We went and stood on the beach for a few minutes watching the ships come and go and the surfers ride in and paddle out. Eventually we took our seats. I ended up sitting between two of my guy friends. The one who sat on my left has previously had a history of homophobia, though in his defense, he was nothing but respectful through the ceremony. The one on my right is of no opinion on homosexuality as far as I know. But neither of these two, or anyone on the whole vacation for that matter, knew I was gay. As we sat in our seats waiting for the music and the two brides the sun was beating down. It was sweltering hot. Of course I’d worn a black shirt and I was about ready to keel over. Finally, not two minutes before the ceremony started, the one cloud in the sky shaded the wedding. Queue the music and the ladies. Through the ceremony there was an enormously bittersweet vibe. You see, we found out the day before that the ladies had lost their house to the fire in Colorado Springs. Because the fire had started after they had left they didn’t even have the chance to save anything. Their only possessions were what they brought with them to Hawaii. However, everything went on as planned. They still had each other, and that’s all they needed. Picture it, there I was sitting in the back of a gay wedding getting choked up and sitting stiff as a stone. The two exchanged their vows and rings. When the line ‘for better or for worse’ came up they both lost it a little. Behind my sunglasses my eyes were welling up but I was too afraid to wipe them because it would be painfully obvious. I might be biased but I think it was the most beautiful wedding ceremony I’d ever seen. The couple thanked everyone for being there with them and for the outpouring of kindness. Because there was going to be an intermission between the two weddings they put on music. Of all the songs they picked Somewhere Over The Rainbow. I really almost lost it. There was already tons of people in tears. I had to go down to the beach alone for some air. The second ceremony was thankfully much less emotional, though it was still beautiful and very touching. Afterwards we took a few pictures, said some congratulations, and left. Everybody else wanted to get food and go shopping. So there I was, walking around town dazed with too much on my mind.